1 00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:21,847 ♪ Don't care what you think about it ♪ 2 00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,588 ♪ Ain't here to please nobody ♪ 3 00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,112 ♪ I'm the one they run for cover ♪ 4 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,810 ♪ Here comes trouble now 5 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:34,686 ♪ Mend my wicked ways 6 00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:36,775 ♪ I'll get you into trouble now ♪ 7 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:40,953 ♪ It's just so hard to behave ♪ 8 00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:45,262 ♪ Got you seeing double now 9 00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,225 ♪ I'm the one your mama told you ♪ 10 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,096 ♪ I play the one as torture ♪ 11 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,619 ♪ The risk you cant afford 12 00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:56,186 ♪ Here comes trouble now 13 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:59,929 ♪ Turn it up all night 14 00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:03,150 ♪ Got you feeling high 15 00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:06,414 ♪ Turn it up all night 16 00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:09,678 ♪ Got you feeling high 17 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,984 ♪ Get you into trouble now 18 00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,992 - What are some of your favorite things to do in the bedroom? 19 00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,690 - Wow. 20 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,518 Um. [ laugh ] 21 00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:28,131 My favorite thing in the bedroom would definitely be... 22 00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:30,655 I'm so different. It depends on the day. 23 00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,180 - So I've always had this thing like the whole idea of 24 00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:34,529 being like tied up. 25 00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:36,226 - I have been tied up in the bedroom. 26 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,446 I kind of like that. 27 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,621 - You've tied me up. 28 00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:41,013 - Tied her up a couple of times. 29 00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:42,058 - I have a couple of like restraint things at my 30 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,756 apartment that we've dabbled with. 31 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,281 - Trusting your partner to like take care of you and 32 00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:51,023 keep you safe is like a very intimate experience. 33 00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:53,504 - Yeah, like that's a big thing for me being tied up. 34 00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:56,072 And then having like multiple girls, like two girls. 35 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,813 Maybe one like sitting on my face and the other 36 00:01:57,856 --> 00:02:00,729 one like sitting on my dick, that we kind of tight. 37 00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:04,211 - I'm a little light on the BDSM stuff, 38 00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,864 you know, but I'm into it. 39 00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,823 - I am Brittany. - I'm Mark Simon. 40 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,041 - I'm Romane. - Scott. 41 00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:10,086 - Flossy. - Sonali. 42 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,305 - And this... - And this... 43 00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:12,044 - And this... - And this... 44 00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:14,525 And this is my sex life. 45 00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:16,701 - Take it or leave it. 46 00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,839 - Honey? - Time to get up. 47 00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,406 - It is? - Mm-hmm. 48 00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:26,842 - Why? 49 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:30,237 - 'Cause we get on a plane and go to San Francisco. 50 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,849 - Oh, yeah. 51 00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:36,199 - Excited? - Yes. 52 00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,201 You know what's in San Francisco? 53 00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:41,030 - Did you get enough sleep? - No. 54 00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:45,556 That's what the plane's for. - Right. Let's go. 55 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,602 - Okay. Let's go. 56 00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:55,000 - She wants us to bring all the rope that we have, right? 57 00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:57,307 - Yes, sir. - Okay. 58 00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,397 Look at that. 59 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:04,009 Still tied up because we haven't done any practice 60 00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:06,229 since we got the book. 61 00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,405 So now that we get to go down and see her and 62 00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:11,408 get some hands-on teaching, we'll actually have her sign 63 00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:15,325 this book, she'll teach us what we need to know. 64 00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,114 What else do we need to bring? 65 00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,595 - Don't forget to bring the flogger. 66 00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,250 I think that's gonna be really good for us to have. 67 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:28,686 - This one? - Yes. 68 00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,079 - Okay. 69 00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:32,560 - That or that can be a dominatrix and maybe our 70 00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,039 really nice paddle. 71 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,606 - Paddle. - There you go. 72 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,173 - And what about the cane? - I don't know. 73 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,870 You think we should take that on the plane? 74 00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:41,699 Cane on a plane? - Cane on a plane? 75 00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:44,398 Hey, I'll cane you on the plane. - Cane on the plane. 76 00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:45,921 - Is that part of the Mile-High Club if I cane you 77 00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:48,010 in the bathroom? Is that part of it? 78 00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,446 You don't wanna go through TSA with this? 79 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,231 - No, I don't. [ laugh ] 80 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:01,415 - The term "Shibari" is to tie. 81 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:04,592 It's Mr. and Mrs. [ inaudible ] tying each other up, 82 00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:08,596 engaging in a romanticized fantasy and having a good time. 83 00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:09,771 Fuck it. 84 00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:17,387 In Shibari, think of a rope as an extension of the 85 00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,824 person's body. 86 00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:23,828 I only have these hands and these legs to wrap around you. 87 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:29,181 But what if I had miles of me to hold you down with. 88 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:38,930 It really can feel like the rope is an extension of desire, 89 00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:43,500 that the rope is an extension of passion and want. 90 00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:50,855 And that particular flow and desire, it's really seductive. 91 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:59,342 - We're leaving foggy and dreary Seattle for 92 00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:02,824 some sun in California. 93 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:06,480 - Get ready to head out. Get on a plane. 94 00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,395 - San Francisco, here we come. 95 00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,372 What's your expectations for today? 96 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:32,157 - Biggest challenge for me is having been a sub for as 97 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,682 long as I have and transitioning and flipping 98 00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:38,381 that to a top, I'm that part of the fear of like 99 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:41,689 I haven't done it. 100 00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,212 Okay, what are your expectations? 101 00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,693 - Same thing, I expect to learn something about myself, 102 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:49,784 something new and different that I don't normally have. 103 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,133 - That's a good answer. 104 00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:55,137 - Rope play could bring people closer in their 105 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:58,140 relationship if they're willing to talk about what 106 00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,360 it is that they really want. 107 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:03,493 But I want to emphasize the communication. 108 00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:07,018 And I want to convey to them about the point of this 109 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:13,460 adventure, which is about shared and co-created pleasure. 110 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,984 - Here we are. 111 00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:17,507 - Hello. - Hello. 112 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:18,639 - Hello. Welcome, welcome. 113 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,249 - I'm Lady P. - Hey. 114 00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:21,729 - And Remy. Nice to meet you. 115 00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,295 - Nice to meet you. Please come in. 116 00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,385 - Thank you. - All right. 117 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,430 Here we are. How are you guys doing? 118 00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:28,431 - A little nervous. - Yeah. 119 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,345 - Yeah? - Yeah. 120 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,738 - Yeah. Excited, nervous. 121 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,435 - Okay. 122 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:36,265 So the objective here is to get you some good solid 123 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:40,095 skills so you can do naked homework. 124 00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,140 - Okay. - Thank you. 125 00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,881 That's a good reminder. - Okay. 126 00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,448 - That helps me be like okay. 127 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:46,667 I don't have to be perfect at this. 128 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:47,842 - No, you're not. 129 00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,017 In fact, you're not gonna be perfect. 130 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,019 I always assign naked homework. 131 00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:52,324 Because in a teaching environment, 132 00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:53,587 there are certain things that are really not 133 00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:55,327 appropriate to happen. 134 00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:57,982 For many, they get really nervous. 135 00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:00,811 Oh, am I going to have to do things like suck dick? 136 00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:03,466 Or am I going to have to shag and fuck in front 137 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:06,251 of the teacher? I'm like, no. 138 00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:08,340 No, today we're practicing for your receiving? 139 00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,646 - Yes. - And you're casting? 140 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,082 - Correct. - Okay, great. 141 00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:15,347 When it's good for you, what would I see in here? 142 00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:16,479 - I think it's probably easier for me to describe 143 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:17,959 when I'm not having a good time. 144 00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:19,134 [ laugh ] 145 00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,352 - Oh, now do you see a problem with that? 146 00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:22,485 - Yeah, this is gonna be a challenge. 147 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:26,489 - The only bad rope bondage there is is when all people 148 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,796 are not having genuine fun. 149 00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:33,322 This is for shagging, love, romance and pleasure. 150 00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:37,631 I can give you the good tools by which to navigate that. 151 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:41,896 But I cannot tell you the things you will encounter in 152 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,028 your own adventure. 153 00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,203 - That's a good way to put it. 154 00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:46,204 - Choose your own adventure book. 155 00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:47,379 - Right. [ laugh ] 156 00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:48,990 - Mm-hmm. 157 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:52,602 I often share an actual rope bondage scene as opposed 158 00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,517 to a technical demonstration. 159 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:58,129 I want people to understand the emotional and intimate impact, 160 00:07:58,173 --> 00:07:59,914 the human impact, of this. 161 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,003 - Hi. 162 00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:04,701 - I'm Remy. - Hi. I'm Lux. 163 00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:06,050 - Nice to meet you. - Pleased to meet you. 164 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,487 - I'm Lady P. - Hi. Lux. 165 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:08,575 Pleased to meet you. 166 00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,185 - I want to keep the technique simple. 167 00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,230 I'm gonna share with them what a scene could look 168 00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:16,060 like with my fantastic assistant. 169 00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:19,934 Okay, so in terms of receiving rope, 170 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:23,198 what is it about receiving rope that you like? 171 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:24,504 - Hmm. 172 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:28,812 I love receiving rope because of the dominant 173 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,466 aspect of it for me. 174 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,033 - How are you feeling today about a crotch rope? 175 00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,861 - Oh, yeah! - Yeah? 176 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,559 - I really like the functional put me in my 177 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:39,431 place kind of attitude with rope. 178 00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:42,522 Use it to like really bind me and restrict me 179 00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:46,700 so that I can wiggle, but I can't get free. 180 00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,268 The things that I really love with the rope, 181 00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,444 I have a great connection with the top. 182 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:56,666 And I can really feel their power coming through. 183 00:08:57,232 --> 00:09:01,715 Also, I'm like restrictive and helplessness is always fun. 184 00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,285 - So what happened with Lux? 185 00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:12,334 It's all about wrapping my partner in my intention. 186 00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:14,597 So, you know, if you pull your wrists up... 187 00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:17,034 - Oh... [ laugh ] 188 00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:20,516 Whether devouring them, shattering them, holding them, 189 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:28,176 loving them, my hands, my rope, all of me vibrates 190 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,439 through the rope. 191 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:33,747 Conversely, their quivers quiver through the rope 192 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:36,010 into my hands. 193 00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:38,403 And when they want to let go and surrender, 194 00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,841 it's my entire being that's holding them. 195 00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:47,630 And if I'm cinching or if I'm releasing or if I'm tightening, 196 00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:50,024 it is this duet. 197 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,375 - Please, Midori, please, please, please, may I come? 198 00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:58,859 - Yes. - Oh! Oh! Oh! 199 00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,949 - And she has an orgasm. 200 00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,603 - You're having even more fun than she's having, 201 00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:06,910 which was-- I won't say it surprised me. 202 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,651 But, I mean, that's cool. It's a dance. 203 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,348 That's what it is. It's more of a dance. 204 00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:11,654 - I think he says to me halfway through it, 205 00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,047 he says, "Sure you don't want to be bottom?" 206 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,309 [ laughter ] 207 00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,224 - He knows how much I love it, right? 208 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,748 I was just like, "No, I want to be the top." 209 00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:21,882 Like that's actually really hot. 210 00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:24,449 - You're gonna be top, eh? - Yes, I am. 211 00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:29,367 - What level of attire or non-attire are you wanting? 212 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:32,022 - I'm good with the attire I have on. 213 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:34,329 - What about him? 214 00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:37,549 - I would like to see him in his underwear. 215 00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,160 - So, here's the thing. 216 00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:44,600 If you're going to be topping, do you make a request 217 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:49,474 that is wimpy? [ chuckles ] 218 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,305 - You gonna ask or are you gonna tell? 219 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,394 - I want you in your underwear. 220 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,875 That's what I want. - Okay. 221 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,834 - So you're gonna be in your underwear. 222 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,531 - All right. [ laugh ] 223 00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,315 - For somebody like P, who's going to be topping 224 00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:08,102 for the first time, be clear and simple. 225 00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:10,408 - Right here. - Okay. 226 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,367 - Well, something's extending. 227 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:15,413 Always remember that when a person's experiencing joy, 228 00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:17,111 they're sex high. 229 00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:19,635 And when we're sex high, we're stupid. 230 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,769 And if we're sex high and stupid, keep it simple. 231 00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,815 Here's what I want you to do. 232 00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:28,600 Stroke that rope across his body. 233 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,733 You don't need to tie anything. 234 00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:33,475 The rope is an extension of your hands. 235 00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:37,000 The sensuality of rope bondage comes down to touch. 236 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,742 So if a person's casting or topping, 237 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:44,225 they're touching the entire body of the person. 238 00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:48,620 The cinching of it, the releasing of it, 239 00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:50,797 continual touch. 240 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,756 There's a tactile sensuality and there's a command 241 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,152 sensuality to it, an assertiveness that is 242 00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:01,024 in service of joy. 243 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,765 You're winding it around his body. 244 00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,985 It can go between his legs. 245 00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,683 - Is there anything I should be doing? 246 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,033 Just enjoying it? 247 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,296 - Enjoy and just respond, and whatever it is, 248 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:14,995 you reflect the way you are. 249 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:18,520 It's all about the skin. It's all about the muscles. 250 00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:21,697 Look, rope gives an opportunity to cop a feel. 251 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,352 That's kind of hot. 252 00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:28,704 There. So, where do you want him? 253 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,315 Because the thing to think about in rope bondage is not 254 00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,840 how do I want to tie, what are the knots? 255 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:37,539 But what's the utility of this position? 256 00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,802 Are you gonna hop on his cock? 257 00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:42,065 Are you going to take a ride on his face? 258 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:45,286 Are you going to turn around and go reverse cowgirl? 259 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:48,550 What are we doing? - Okay. 260 00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,817 - There are many, many glorious tasty things that 261 00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:59,126 people get out of being tied or tying. 262 00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:02,042 For some people, it might be orgasm. 263 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:05,045 Some people, it might be having a meditative experience. 264 00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:09,832 Making a partner's fantasy happen or a little rough sex, 265 00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:14,315 they get to play a little evil villain in the bedroom. 266 00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:19,668 For the person being tied, it can also be a stillness, 267 00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:24,020 of being so present in a way that they've never actually 268 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:27,328 noticed what their skin feels like. 269 00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:36,424 Watching her unfold into her power and watching the flow 270 00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,687 of pleasure happen between those two-- 271 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,428 So if you wanted him to go in the other direction, 272 00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:41,951 which hand would you use? 273 00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:45,302 For me to watch them stop worrying if they're doing it 274 00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,262 right, that is like the best thing that can happen. 275 00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,830 [ slap ] Like that! 276 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:55,835 [ chuckles ] - I'm feeling hot. 277 00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:01,057 - In the undoing, you can play as much as you like. 278 00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:05,757 You're creating sensation with the undoing. 279 00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:09,239 To know that one belongs, to be able to let go of 280 00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:12,895 responsibility and sink into a sensuous pleasure, 281 00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:16,203 that is a sweet, sweet place. 282 00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:21,077 - Hi. [ laugh ] 283 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,950 - Hi. - This is new. 284 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:28,128 This is never before. How are you feeling? 285 00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:32,697 - A light-headed, a little fuzzy. 286 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:33,916 - You look really happy. 287 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,179 - I feel like my arms are still bound. 288 00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,921 I can feel like they're still in. 289 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,967 - Do you need me to hug you and hold you? 290 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:43,012 - No. 291 00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:45,232 I'm just regaining my space here. 292 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,495 - Okay. 293 00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:56,852 [ crying ] 294 00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:21,007 - I'll get you water. 295 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:40,156 Thank you. 296 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,202 - Thank you. 297 00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,205 - I love you. 298 00:15:56,433 --> 00:16:00,350 - Yeah, I didn't expect to get so emotional at the end. 299 00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,787 So it was weird, but it was cool. 300 00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:05,007 - I think that was the moment when I was like, 301 00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:10,882 oh, this was really powerful for us. 302 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,623 To see you go through that, I was like, 303 00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:15,452 oh, this is amazing! 304 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,937 - Do you want to go through the homework? 305 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,984 - Yeah. 306 00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,595 I think it's cool that she said I was the only one to 307 00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,075 take notes in the book. - To take notes in the book? 308 00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:30,554 - Uh-huh. 309 00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:32,730 - Naked homework means that you and your partner are 310 00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,906 going to go back to whatever you're most comfortable 311 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,083 environment is. 312 00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:38,998 They have to actually immediately jump in 313 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,174 and practice. 314 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:45,700 - What is it about the rope bondage that you like? 315 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,484 - Well, some of the things I didn't think of I would like 316 00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:50,183 is the sensation of the rope when you were bringing 317 00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,837 it across and wrapping it around my body, 318 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,883 and I could lightly feel it. 319 00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:57,190 I like being able to just surrender and not have to 320 00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,061 think about what to do next. 321 00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:01,237 I don't want to think. That's a favorite for me. 322 00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,717 So it's that type of things that I--I 323 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,458 want to stop thinking. 324 00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:07,287 What about you? - Being in control. 325 00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:11,465 I didn't realize that I would like it as much as I did, 326 00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:13,075 which is good. 327 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,861 I now have this new path to go down and experience with you. 328 00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:18,341 Will you please put my shoes on me? 329 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,734 - No. 330 00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:20,909 You didn't ask the right way. 331 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:23,085 - Put my shoes on me! 332 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,869 - What kind of mood do we want today? 333 00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:28,482 - I would like to ramp it up a little bit. 334 00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:30,527 It was playful and fun. 335 00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:33,095 I think you are still trying to dip your toe in the water. 336 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:37,534 I'd like to have you a little bit more forceful. 337 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,233 - I want to get you there and keep you there. 338 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,887 Thank you for describing that. 339 00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:48,763 Which color do you think looks best on you? 340 00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:54,464 I think-- 341 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,814 I want to be able to have him experience the 342 00:17:56,858 --> 00:18:00,992 same thing I experience when I'm being bottomed. 343 00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:05,040 My thing is, I want to be a good top for that, 344 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,478 to be able to help him through that journey. 345 00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:15,398 Being dominant, but yet at the same time, 346 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:17,966 being caring about it. 347 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,576 - May I touch you? 348 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,144 - What are you gonna have to say? 349 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:25,626 - May I have some pussy, please? - Yeah. 350 00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:27,758 I'm not just like, 351 00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:31,110 "I'm gonna make you do what I want you to do!" 352 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:35,505 I'm gonna make you do it, but I want you to do it willingly. 353 00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:41,120 - Do it right there. 354 00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,383 - I like that I got into that, got some space. 355 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,167 Yeah, that was super hot. 356 00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:49,867 I'm still speechless in how it's such a clearing house 357 00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:53,001 for whatever I had going on in my head. 358 00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:55,569 So physically, I was able to let go. 359 00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,005 You were like a kitten. 360 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,789 - Oh, oh-- 361 00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:01,662 - I could tell that you were so deep into it 362 00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:06,232 and I was so happy for you. 363 00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:10,366 - My favorite part is when you got like the super 364 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:14,544 confidence that you got when you're topping me. 365 00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:16,894 - Phew! 366 00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,379 - Well, that was a good trip to San Francisco. 367 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:26,252 - Awww-- 368 00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,341 - Are you glad you came, came again? 369 00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:30,995 - And again. 370 00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,216 Ding, ding, ding, goes the trolley-- 371 00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,783 - It's a kinky trolley. 372 00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:39,134 - Yeah, we wanna make it that way. 373 00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:42,616 - I didn't expect this to be that impactful on my body 374 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:46,359 or my emotions or my mind, my heart. 375 00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,840 - That was really powerful. 376 00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:51,755 Almost like wearing your strap-on for the first time. 377 00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:53,496 [ laugh ] 378 00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:55,759 - Thank you, Midori. - Thank you, Midori. 379 00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,249 - How would you describe your sex life? 380 00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:10,557 - Active, but I'm nervous talking about it. 381 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:11,862 - I have a good sex life. 382 00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:12,950 - Unreliable. 383 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,387 - I could have some more sex. 384 00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,519 - Uh, okay. 385 00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:18,913 - How would I describe my sex life? 386 00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:20,393 - Woo! 387 00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:21,263 - Well, we're having sex once a day and it is really 388 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,352 helping with our marriage. 389 00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,745 - How would you describe our sex life? 390 00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:26,094 - Delightful. 391 00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,269 - Fun. 392 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:28,401 - Yeah? - Yeah. 393 00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:29,532 - Yay. 394 00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:31,230 - I'd like three times this morning. 395 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,232 - I'm having sex about twice a week. 396 00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,582 - I haven't done anything since the second week of January. 397 00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,584 And now it's like, what, March? 398 00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,760 Feel like a born again virgin. [ chuckles ] 399 00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:42,023 - I have never had sex before. 400 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,851 - Sometimes I'm having a lot of sex. 401 00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,418 Sometimes I'm not having that much sex. 402 00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:49,248 - I feel like our sex life has grown as we begin to 403 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,771 trust each other. 404 00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,643 - I'm not as active as I was when I was in my twenties. 405 00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:57,517 But physical love is still just as sweet. 406 00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:08,354 - Ahhh-- 407 00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:13,359 [ laughs ] 408 00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:17,145 - We're all experts at intimacy avoidance. 409 00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:19,843 How do you connect to someone when you spend so 410 00:21:19,887 --> 00:21:23,151 much time being disconnected? 411 00:21:23,630 --> 00:21:28,896 - Feel the feminine current that starts to flow within you. 412 00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:33,204 - Let yourself have fun with this! 413 00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:35,642 - Having intimacy, having a sense of a real connection 414 00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:39,298 with another human being, takes practice. 415 00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:48,916 - Hi. - Hi, everyone. 416 00:21:48,959 --> 00:21:51,440 - Thank you, everyone, for coming to Tantra Speed Date. 417 00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:54,269 This is going to be your special pouch with beads. 418 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,749 So you want to wear that like a necklace, 419 00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:57,141 like I'm wearing mine. - Thank you. 420 00:21:57,185 --> 00:21:58,360 - And then pick up one of those cards. 421 00:21:58,404 --> 00:21:59,753 Follow the instructions on the back. 422 00:21:59,796 --> 00:22:01,494 - Thank you so much, guys. - Welcome. 423 00:22:01,537 --> 00:22:05,411 - We teach conscious sexuality classes all around the world. 424 00:22:05,454 --> 00:22:09,371 And one of our most popular classes is Tantra Speed Date. 425 00:22:09,415 --> 00:22:11,068 - Have you ever done any kind of speed dating-- 426 00:22:11,112 --> 00:22:12,331 - Never. 427 00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:13,984 - Oh, you're in for a treat. [ laugh ] 428 00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:15,682 - We're gonna spoil you tonight. Is that okay? 429 00:22:15,725 --> 00:22:17,161 - That's great. 430 00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:18,641 - Tantra Speed Date is not about sexual connections. 431 00:22:18,685 --> 00:22:21,905 Singles get together and practice mindfulness 432 00:22:21,949 --> 00:22:24,647 exercises with a dating component. 433 00:22:24,691 --> 00:22:29,043 It's fun, it's energizing, it's healing, it's beautiful. 434 00:22:29,086 --> 00:22:31,437 And everyone leaves feeling full of love. 435 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,700 - Welcome, everyone, to Tantra Speed Date. 436 00:22:33,743 --> 00:22:36,833 Everybody take a deep breath. 437 00:22:36,877 --> 00:22:39,532 - Ahhh-- 438 00:22:40,097 --> 00:22:41,577 - So let us just take a moment to hold 439 00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:44,145 an intention in our hearts that everyone that came 440 00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:47,409 here tonight find whatever it is that they seek. 441 00:22:47,453 --> 00:22:49,106 This is gonna be our first game. 442 00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:51,848 It's a group game and it's called Introduction. 443 00:22:51,892 --> 00:22:54,677 So tell us your name and then why you're here. 444 00:22:54,721 --> 00:22:58,768 - My name is Kwabena. I've done this once before. 445 00:22:58,812 --> 00:23:00,770 It was a phenomenal experience. 446 00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:03,947 I met great people, good energy and why wouldn't 447 00:23:03,991 --> 00:23:05,514 you want to do something like that again? 448 00:23:05,558 --> 00:23:08,778 - This is first speed dating and I'm very curious person, 449 00:23:08,822 --> 00:23:10,214 so I'm very excited. 450 00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:11,912 - I'm a performance based artist and I like to say 451 00:23:11,955 --> 00:23:15,481 I love speaking multiple languages not just with words, 452 00:23:15,524 --> 00:23:19,659 but song, poetry, dance. All are a form of language. 453 00:23:19,702 --> 00:23:22,357 Because I'm single, I'm exploring all different 454 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,751 options with regard to meeting people. 455 00:23:24,794 --> 00:23:28,755 I was in a four-year relationship and it wasn't 456 00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:30,539 a very healthy relationship. 457 00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:33,412 And I was not being honest with myself about what 458 00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:37,111 I really wanted as a woman from a partner since that 459 00:23:37,154 --> 00:23:39,026 relationship ended. 460 00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:41,898 It's been a continuous journey and me saying yes 461 00:23:41,942 --> 00:23:45,380 to me and connecting with people that I wouldn't normally 462 00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:47,469 think to connect with. 463 00:23:47,513 --> 00:23:49,993 - So I'm going to ask a few women to take another step 464 00:23:50,037 --> 00:23:53,170 in and join hands with your sisters. 465 00:23:53,214 --> 00:23:56,217 And I'm going to ask the men, please join hands on 466 00:23:56,260 --> 00:23:58,088 the outside circle. 467 00:23:58,132 --> 00:24:01,831 Tonight as you step in to hold the masculine pull, 468 00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:06,401 your mission is to create a solid container for our 469 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:10,100 ceremony to hold space for this event and to hold 470 00:24:10,144 --> 00:24:12,494 space for the feminine. 471 00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:16,803 - For me, connection is the life-giving experience 472 00:24:16,846 --> 00:24:21,503 that's really important to establish human connection. 473 00:24:21,547 --> 00:24:25,333 And a lot of times, people are swiping and you can't 474 00:24:25,376 --> 00:24:28,031 really get a sense of how someone is with you. 475 00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:30,643 - So take a deep breath into your heart and, 476 00:24:30,686 --> 00:24:33,123 on your exhale, send that breath down the soles of 477 00:24:33,167 --> 00:24:36,126 your feet, down into the center of the earth. 478 00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:40,304 Please open your eyes and turn around and place your 479 00:24:40,348 --> 00:24:43,917 right hand on the heart of the man in front of you. 480 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,180 We created this event, which is, you know, 481 00:24:46,223 --> 00:24:49,183 geared as a dating event where you learn relationship skills. 482 00:24:49,226 --> 00:24:51,751 In the process, you're interacting and practicing 483 00:24:51,794 --> 00:24:53,274 those skills with a partner. 484 00:24:53,317 --> 00:24:56,538 - The first station is our Mirroring Station. 485 00:24:56,582 --> 00:24:58,497 It will begin by rubbing our hands together, 486 00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:01,369 rubbing your hands together and--oh, 487 00:25:01,412 --> 00:25:02,849 faster, faster, faster. 488 00:25:02,892 --> 00:25:06,853 - You get to see how do I react to these skills? 489 00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:08,419 How am I at learning these skills? 490 00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:10,900 And how is my partner at learning these skills? 491 00:25:10,944 --> 00:25:13,555 And do we have a chemistry when we're working together? 492 00:25:13,599 --> 00:25:15,078 - Harder, harder, harder, and stop! 493 00:25:15,122 --> 00:25:16,645 Put your hands facing your partner as if you're looking 494 00:25:16,689 --> 00:25:18,908 at a mirror image of each other. 495 00:25:18,952 --> 00:25:20,910 Women, you can move any way you want. 496 00:25:20,954 --> 00:25:23,522 Men, mirror her movements. 497 00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:24,653 - I'm Lillian. 498 00:25:24,697 --> 00:25:25,915 I have a fairly new dating history. 499 00:25:25,959 --> 00:25:28,483 I was in a relationship for eight years. 500 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:32,095 And then I've been single for like a year and a half. 501 00:25:32,139 --> 00:25:35,969 I tried dating app for the first time. 502 00:25:36,012 --> 00:25:37,579 When you meet up on a dating app, 503 00:25:37,623 --> 00:25:40,887 you're meeting to sit down for tea or coffee or drinks 504 00:25:40,930 --> 00:25:42,279 or whatever to determine if you want to 505 00:25:42,323 --> 00:25:43,846 have sex with the person. [ laugh ] 506 00:25:43,890 --> 00:25:47,807 Like that's kind of right away sort of on everyone's mind. 507 00:25:48,242 --> 00:25:51,419 - If your partner is smiling, you're doing it right! 508 00:25:51,462 --> 00:25:53,682 - And in this kind of a situation, it's more like 509 00:25:53,726 --> 00:25:58,426 how do our energies vibrate with each other? 510 00:25:59,383 --> 00:26:01,821 - All right, and at some point, your mirroring will find 511 00:26:01,864 --> 00:26:04,606 you mirroring each other back into hands and 512 00:26:04,650 --> 00:26:07,130 now must stay. - Oh, so fun! 513 00:26:08,131 --> 00:26:12,135 I came here tonight because I am opening myself 514 00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:15,399 up to finding my life partner. 515 00:26:15,443 --> 00:26:17,445 You got like the rock star thing going on too. 516 00:26:17,488 --> 00:26:18,620 That was like-- - Oh, yeah, with the little-- 517 00:26:18,664 --> 00:26:20,230 - Yeah. 518 00:26:20,274 --> 00:26:24,365 I get to explore and I get to stretch beyond my comfort zone. 519 00:26:24,408 --> 00:26:28,195 - Men, close your eyes. Women, reaching for beads. 520 00:26:28,238 --> 00:26:29,675 - The women choose. 521 00:26:29,718 --> 00:26:31,459 If a woman has interacted with a man that she wants 522 00:26:31,502 --> 00:26:34,767 to connect with again, she will take one of her 523 00:26:34,810 --> 00:26:39,032 beads from her pouch and place it in his pouch. 524 00:26:39,075 --> 00:26:40,120 - Sit down. 525 00:26:40,163 --> 00:26:43,166 I hope you remember how to play. 526 00:26:43,732 --> 00:26:49,216 So as you hold hands, you can lean backwards and forwards. 527 00:26:49,999 --> 00:26:54,308 But feel how good it feels to play backwards and forwards. 528 00:26:54,351 --> 00:26:56,702 - I got so connected to my inner child. 529 00:26:56,745 --> 00:26:59,835 And I just became such a fun experience, you know, 530 00:26:59,879 --> 00:27:02,621 with this person that I had never even met before. 531 00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:04,710 Then just be laughing and just enjoying each other's 532 00:27:04,753 --> 00:27:07,277 presence, it was beautiful. 533 00:27:07,887 --> 00:27:13,936 [ laughter ] 534 00:27:13,980 --> 00:27:15,329 People don't talk to each other. 535 00:27:15,372 --> 00:27:16,678 They don't know how to communicate. 536 00:27:16,722 --> 00:27:18,985 [ laughter ] 537 00:27:19,028 --> 00:27:22,684 So actually, intentionally creating experiences that 538 00:27:22,728 --> 00:27:27,733 allow for that, that kind of connection is so important. 539 00:27:27,776 --> 00:27:31,214 - I see that your joy is ecstatic dance, 540 00:27:31,258 --> 00:27:36,350 and my joy is doing yoga. 541 00:27:36,916 --> 00:27:40,006 - You can get on a subway and be this close to 542 00:27:40,049 --> 00:27:43,574 100 people in a tiny box and manage to not make eye 543 00:27:43,618 --> 00:27:46,839 contact with a single person. 544 00:27:48,362 --> 00:27:50,103 - This is such a different experience than meeting 545 00:27:50,146 --> 00:27:51,974 someone off of a dating app. 546 00:27:52,018 --> 00:27:56,718 Being able to be guided in the way in which we got 547 00:27:56,762 --> 00:28:00,156 to connect, making eye contact and touching each 548 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,725 other and laughing together and playing together, 549 00:28:03,769 --> 00:28:07,250 there was the presence of something really special 550 00:28:07,294 --> 00:28:10,340 that I haven't experienced in dating before. 551 00:28:10,950 --> 00:28:13,561 - Aahh-- 552 00:28:13,604 --> 00:28:16,390 - Make yourself as cozy as you desire. 553 00:28:16,433 --> 00:28:19,523 The idea is to think of him as the ultimate teddy bear 554 00:28:19,567 --> 00:28:23,179 and ask for what you want. [ laugh ] 555 00:28:23,658 --> 00:28:26,226 - I want to be held right now. 556 00:28:29,403 --> 00:28:30,752 - Women, I invite you to take a deep breath 557 00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:34,408 into your feminine presence. 558 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:39,674 Allow a vision of your future self to come to you. 559 00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:44,244 I invite you to imagine how your future self might be. 560 00:28:44,287 --> 00:28:48,074 If you had access to this type of masculine presence 561 00:28:48,117 --> 00:28:52,121 from every man, how would your future self be? 562 00:28:54,645 --> 00:28:59,346 What kind of world together we could create? 563 00:29:02,958 --> 00:29:05,047 - The truth is that practicing connection is 564 00:29:05,091 --> 00:29:07,484 a skill and we're not taught. 565 00:29:07,528 --> 00:29:09,356 - Thank you. 566 00:29:10,574 --> 00:29:12,838 - Real human connection, vulnerable connection, 567 00:29:12,881 --> 00:29:16,711 and to be able to be authentic with each other is 568 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,279 just a beautiful thing. 569 00:29:19,714 --> 00:29:22,412 - I invite you to imagine this woman that you hold 570 00:29:22,456 --> 00:29:26,677 in your arms was once a little girl. 571 00:29:28,854 --> 00:29:31,595 - He had such a strong presence and I felt like 572 00:29:31,639 --> 00:29:32,988 I could just let myself go. 573 00:29:33,032 --> 00:29:36,513 And I started crying and I wasn't expecting that. 574 00:29:37,645 --> 00:29:40,779 - And we'll take three more breaths in this pose. 575 00:29:45,131 --> 00:29:47,002 I want to thank the men for making this energy 576 00:29:47,046 --> 00:29:49,788 available to us tonight. 577 00:30:01,712 --> 00:30:06,195 [ music ] 578 00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:08,023 - Stripping is awesome. 579 00:30:08,067 --> 00:30:11,113 It's basically just dancing and they happen to not have 580 00:30:11,157 --> 00:30:12,201 their clothes on. 581 00:30:12,245 --> 00:30:13,855 So what's the big deal? 582 00:30:13,899 --> 00:30:15,291 - Oh, we love strippers-- - Oh, yes,-- 583 00:30:15,335 --> 00:30:18,120 - We've been to numerous strip clubs, or just one. 584 00:30:18,164 --> 00:30:20,383 You have only been in one? - I don't know. 585 00:30:20,427 --> 00:30:21,776 Yeah, I know, we like strippers. - We like strippers. 586 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,604 - I think if a guy stripped for me, that would be 587 00:30:23,647 --> 00:30:25,954 really interesting. I've had it happen once. 588 00:30:25,998 --> 00:30:27,129 - Pole dancing? 589 00:30:27,173 --> 00:30:29,088 I'd be so down for it if I had any rhythm 590 00:30:29,131 --> 00:30:31,351 or strength in any of this. 591 00:30:31,394 --> 00:30:32,482 - I strip for girls all the time. 592 00:30:32,526 --> 00:30:33,657 Like I walk around naked. 593 00:30:33,701 --> 00:30:34,745 I've always been the dude to like take 594 00:30:34,789 --> 00:30:36,399 my shirt off and stuff, you know. 595 00:30:36,443 --> 00:30:38,358 I'm super down to strip, yeah. I'll strip. 596 00:30:38,401 --> 00:30:40,142 Shoot, I'll strip right now. Y'all wanna see something? 597 00:30:40,186 --> 00:30:42,014 [ laugh ] 598 00:30:43,711 --> 00:30:47,889 [ music ] 599 00:30:51,066 --> 00:30:54,896 - Women come here... 600 00:30:54,940 --> 00:30:57,812 carrying a lot of responsibilities, 601 00:30:57,856 --> 00:31:00,554 spending all their time folding the fuckin' laundry. 602 00:31:00,597 --> 00:31:05,037 Life is dull and it is an infinite expanse 603 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,822 of folding laundry. 604 00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:14,350 And they come here and they are part of this world 605 00:31:14,394 --> 00:31:20,139 and this community that is this magical sisterhood 606 00:31:20,182 --> 00:31:26,101 of being seen, of being heard. 607 00:31:56,740 --> 00:32:03,791 - The Strip Cabin is an event that I hold for women only. 608 00:32:03,834 --> 00:32:05,532 And women from all walks of life, 609 00:32:05,575 --> 00:32:09,057 from all over the world, come together for a weekend 610 00:32:09,101 --> 00:32:12,974 of total freedom to be the woman that they really 611 00:32:13,018 --> 00:32:17,413 are inside with no concerns about impressing their boss, 612 00:32:17,457 --> 00:32:19,241 their mom, their grandma. 613 00:32:19,285 --> 00:32:22,114 It's a place that women can come and strip down all 614 00:32:22,157 --> 00:32:26,205 the limiting narratives that they tell themselves and 615 00:32:26,248 --> 00:32:28,903 just open up and be who they really are and who they 616 00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:29,948 really want to be. 617 00:32:42,873 --> 00:32:45,006 - What are you looking forward to for this weekend? 618 00:32:45,050 --> 00:32:47,966 - I'm looking forward to like getting sexy with 619 00:32:48,009 --> 00:32:49,315 a bunch of women. 620 00:32:49,358 --> 00:32:50,881 I think that'll be fun. 621 00:32:50,925 --> 00:32:52,840 I don't get to do that that often. 622 00:32:52,883 --> 00:32:56,539 When I hang out with my friends, I'm not like putting on sexy 623 00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:59,629 clothes and spinning around on poles and dancing. 624 00:32:59,673 --> 00:33:01,327 What if I come home with a girlfriend? 625 00:33:01,370 --> 00:33:03,764 - Okay. - Okay. 626 00:33:03,807 --> 00:33:05,287 - I get it, yeah. 627 00:33:05,331 --> 00:33:07,333 I mean, you'd probably let me know before you get home. 628 00:33:07,376 --> 00:33:09,770 - I will. - Okay. 629 00:33:10,510 --> 00:33:13,034 - The past year was really challenging with my husband 630 00:33:13,078 --> 00:33:16,777 being sick, me becoming like the primary breadwinner. 631 00:33:16,820 --> 00:33:20,650 We were in and out of hospitals and he's finally 632 00:33:20,694 --> 00:33:22,435 getting better. 633 00:33:22,478 --> 00:33:25,568 And I feel like I can take some time for myself to 634 00:33:25,612 --> 00:33:30,530 just go have this really awesome adventure. 635 00:33:30,573 --> 00:33:33,098 One of the things I'm really hoping to gain out of this 636 00:33:33,141 --> 00:33:37,798 experience is being more confident and comfortable 637 00:33:37,841 --> 00:33:39,713 in my own body. 638 00:33:39,756 --> 00:33:42,063 Yes! I did it! 639 00:33:42,107 --> 00:33:44,587 Respect a goddess when you see one, 640 00:33:44,631 --> 00:33:47,503 especially in the mirror. 641 00:33:48,113 --> 00:33:52,117 Strip has a double meaning, so while you are here, 642 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:57,252 you will see a lot of literal stripping. 643 00:33:58,949 --> 00:34:03,084 But it is also a metaphor for a greater stripping down 644 00:34:03,128 --> 00:34:08,524 of the walls that we erect around ourselves. 645 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,310 Because most of us feel all these feelings, 646 00:34:11,353 --> 00:34:14,008 emotions and thoughts and we close the doors in front of 647 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:16,880 that so that we don't draw attention to ourselves, 648 00:34:16,924 --> 00:34:19,361 so that we don't look stupid. 649 00:34:20,319 --> 00:34:22,756 Pretty cool, right? 650 00:34:22,799 --> 00:34:24,627 Someone coming to Strip Cabin for the first time, 651 00:34:24,671 --> 00:34:26,629 the general feeling is, 652 00:34:26,673 --> 00:34:33,767 "Ah, I'm scared. Damn it! Let's do this." 653 00:34:33,810 --> 00:34:37,031 - Two days. Love you, Babe. 654 00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:39,120 - All right. I love you too. 655 00:34:39,164 --> 00:34:41,427 - I want to have an experience that it's kind of 656 00:34:41,470 --> 00:34:44,952 like a dream, but it's real and it's happening. 657 00:34:44,995 --> 00:34:49,217 And I get to show up and just be a part of it and 658 00:34:49,261 --> 00:34:53,352 find new parts of myself that don't get to come out 659 00:34:53,395 --> 00:34:54,570 very often. 660 00:34:54,614 --> 00:34:57,356 All right, I'm on my way to pick up Abi. 661 00:34:57,399 --> 00:34:58,835 I'm excited to meet her. 662 00:34:58,879 --> 00:35:01,795 Because she's been before and I kind of want to pick 663 00:35:01,838 --> 00:35:05,059 her brain a little about what it was like for her. 664 00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,626 Because it was clearly good enough for 665 00:35:06,669 --> 00:35:08,497 her to want to go back. 666 00:35:08,541 --> 00:35:11,283 I see Abi! I see her! 667 00:35:11,326 --> 00:35:13,850 Uh-oh, wait. 668 00:35:19,204 --> 00:35:21,597 Hello! - Hi! 669 00:35:21,641 --> 00:35:23,773 - How are you? - I'm good. 670 00:35:23,817 --> 00:35:27,560 It's good to meet you! - I love your hair! 671 00:35:27,603 --> 00:35:29,257 - I love your hair! - Oh, my gosh! 672 00:35:29,301 --> 00:35:31,303 And your nose ring! How was your flight? 673 00:35:31,346 --> 00:35:32,826 - It was good. I slept. 674 00:35:32,869 --> 00:35:34,654 - Oh, good. 675 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,614 Could you tell me a little bit about what it's like 676 00:35:38,658 --> 00:35:41,748 or what to expect? 677 00:35:41,791 --> 00:35:43,619 - Nudity. - Okay. 678 00:35:43,663 --> 00:35:46,883 - First and foremost, there will be tits. 679 00:35:46,927 --> 00:35:49,321 - So why do you like to go back again? 680 00:35:49,364 --> 00:35:51,845 - I found a confidence I never thought I would. 681 00:35:51,888 --> 00:35:53,107 - Wow. 682 00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:54,630 - Which was weird for me because I thought 683 00:35:54,674 --> 00:35:56,197 I was good on that department. 684 00:35:56,241 --> 00:35:58,547 My first retreat changed my life completely. 685 00:35:58,591 --> 00:36:03,073 I wasn't expecting to have this like aha moment 686 00:36:03,117 --> 00:36:05,554 or enlightenment, if you will. 687 00:36:05,598 --> 00:36:08,949 I went home and I quit my job. 688 00:36:08,992 --> 00:36:14,563 And I broke up with my boyfriend and I enrolled in school. 689 00:36:14,607 --> 00:36:17,000 And everything changed for me. 690 00:36:17,044 --> 00:36:19,307 It was super positive, super happy. 691 00:36:19,351 --> 00:36:26,140 My biggest challenge this time around would be to really, 692 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,969 really let go of some of that extremely deep stuff 693 00:36:29,012 --> 00:36:31,711 that I don't want in my life anymore. 694 00:36:31,754 --> 00:36:33,669 I'm looking to get rid of that and I think I can do 695 00:36:33,713 --> 00:36:35,715 it this weekend. 696 00:36:45,855 --> 00:36:48,162 - Most will know me as Lux ATL, 697 00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:51,034 but before there was ever a Lux, 698 00:36:51,078 --> 00:36:52,993 there was a little girl named Lindsay Burton from 699 00:36:53,036 --> 00:36:55,256 Danville, Virginia. 700 00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:57,432 And I don't know if you ever been there, 701 00:36:57,476 --> 00:37:02,263 but if you rearrange the letters, it spells Eviland 702 00:37:02,307 --> 00:37:05,310 and that's apt. 703 00:37:06,049 --> 00:37:10,619 And you know what I was good at? That was school. 704 00:37:10,663 --> 00:37:12,839 So I thought, "Well, hell, let me get a bunch 705 00:37:12,882 --> 00:37:14,754 of degrees in English and, that way, 706 00:37:14,797 --> 00:37:17,365 I won't have to face the adult world and, 707 00:37:17,409 --> 00:37:19,933 at the end of this road, I'll have a doctor in front 708 00:37:19,976 --> 00:37:21,500 of my name." 709 00:37:21,543 --> 00:37:24,503 You know what? That's what I really wanted. 710 00:37:24,546 --> 00:37:27,332 At the same time, I had developed some notoriety 711 00:37:27,375 --> 00:37:33,729 on the internet as Lux ATL with my pole dancing videos. 712 00:37:34,904 --> 00:37:41,084 I did not even know exactly what I wanted to be, 713 00:37:41,128 --> 00:37:42,651 but I'll tell you what I didn't want to be, 714 00:37:42,695 --> 00:37:45,567 and that was in an office with no windows. 715 00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:49,919 Hello! - Yay! 716 00:37:51,573 --> 00:37:55,795 - And that's how a little country girl from Danville and 717 00:37:55,838 --> 00:37:59,973 former university instructor and lifelong stripper 718 00:38:00,016 --> 00:38:03,759 started hosting all women events in a cabin in Tennessee. 719 00:38:04,107 --> 00:38:07,459 - Hello! - Hi! 720 00:38:08,111 --> 00:38:12,464 - Humping, humping, humping, humping! 721 00:38:12,855 --> 00:38:17,425 - Hi! I'm so happy you're here. 722 00:38:20,167 --> 00:38:21,821 - You're gonna have a blast! - Oh, my gosh! 723 00:38:21,864 --> 00:38:23,257 It's so cute! 724 00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,824 - Party starts at eight, so that's when you wanna 725 00:38:24,867 --> 00:38:26,129 be sexy, sexy. 726 00:38:26,173 --> 00:38:28,741 Okay, okay, and then we're gonna dance. 727 00:38:28,784 --> 00:38:31,134 - Ooh! 728 00:38:31,178 --> 00:38:33,311 I gotta learn your booty moves! 729 00:38:33,354 --> 00:38:34,877 - I got you! - Oh, wow. 730 00:38:34,921 --> 00:38:37,358 - 110%, I got you. 731 00:38:37,402 --> 00:38:39,055 - You get home, your husband is gonna be like, 732 00:38:39,099 --> 00:38:42,145 "So how many more retreats can we go to?" 733 00:38:42,189 --> 00:38:44,278 [ laugh ] 734 00:38:46,715 --> 00:38:48,456 - One choice. - So this is it? 735 00:38:48,500 --> 00:38:50,023 - That's the back. 736 00:38:50,066 --> 00:38:52,242 - It's very difficult to love and accept yourself 737 00:38:52,286 --> 00:38:54,723 in today's world, especially as a female, 738 00:38:54,767 --> 00:38:57,944 because of all of the messages that we receive 739 00:38:57,987 --> 00:39:02,122 from our surrounding society and from media itself. 740 00:39:02,165 --> 00:39:04,907 It's empowering to be here at Strip Cabin because 741 00:39:04,951 --> 00:39:08,346 everyone is very, very accepting of each other here. 742 00:39:09,259 --> 00:39:11,174 - Oo-la-la! 743 00:39:11,218 --> 00:39:12,698 - No, you don't have to be a stripper. 744 00:39:12,741 --> 00:39:14,787 You don't have to be a dancer. 745 00:39:14,830 --> 00:39:17,790 You don't have to be anything to come to these retreats, 746 00:39:17,833 --> 00:39:19,182 and that's the beauty of it. 747 00:39:19,226 --> 00:39:21,707 It's for everybody truly. 748 00:39:22,011 --> 00:39:24,449 - I'm looking forward to some of the people who have 749 00:39:24,492 --> 00:39:26,842 been here before showing me the moves. 750 00:39:26,886 --> 00:39:29,497 - I'm just here to have fun, get away from the family, 751 00:39:29,541 --> 00:39:32,413 have just a ladies weekend. 752 00:39:32,457 --> 00:39:36,765 I'm looking forward to learning how to bring out my sexy. 753 00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:40,160 - The entire message is about accept yourself the 754 00:39:40,203 --> 00:39:41,248 way you are. 755 00:39:41,291 --> 00:39:42,815 And love yourself the way you are. 756 00:39:42,858 --> 00:39:45,383 And don't compare yourself to anyone else. 757 00:39:45,426 --> 00:39:47,863 - I'm ready. - And it's just really fun. 758 00:39:47,907 --> 00:39:50,518 It's really fun to dress up. Makes us feel good. 759 00:39:51,171 --> 00:39:52,520 - You know what? 760 00:39:52,564 --> 00:39:56,219 I think that Orianna Grande was right. 761 00:39:56,263 --> 00:39:58,700 God is a woman! 762 00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:05,751 [ music ] 763 00:40:05,794 --> 00:40:11,409 - The newbies are 100% ready to fucking go. 764 00:40:11,452 --> 00:40:14,020 They are feeling themselves, they're excited, 765 00:40:14,063 --> 00:40:15,761 they're so stoked. 766 00:40:15,804 --> 00:40:20,461 I mean, I guarantee that tonight is gonna be a very good one. 767 00:40:20,505 --> 00:40:23,159 I know Leah is gonna be letting loose, 768 00:40:23,203 --> 00:40:24,683 and you know what? 769 00:40:24,726 --> 00:40:27,337 I think I'm gonna have to teach her a little something 770 00:40:27,381 --> 00:40:29,035 or other on the pole. 771 00:40:29,078 --> 00:40:30,384 How about that? 772 00:40:31,167 --> 00:40:33,474 - So how you feeling? Are you getting nervous? 773 00:40:33,518 --> 00:40:34,606 Are you excited? 774 00:40:34,649 --> 00:40:35,998 - I'm really excited. 775 00:40:36,042 --> 00:40:39,915 I feel less nervous, but still a little nervous. 776 00:40:40,568 --> 00:40:42,657 - I'm excited for you. You're gonna have fun. 777 00:40:42,701 --> 00:40:43,528 It's really a blast. 778 00:40:43,571 --> 00:40:48,707 - Howdy, howdy, howdy! Hi! 779 00:40:51,274 --> 00:40:54,277 It's Strip Cabin time! 780 00:40:55,931 --> 00:40:57,933 If you are in the mood for Strip Cabin, 781 00:40:57,977 --> 00:40:59,457 let me hear you say Amen! 782 00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:02,460 - Amen! - Amen! 783 00:41:02,503 --> 00:41:06,464 Huggies, huggies. Aw, beauty. 784 00:41:06,507 --> 00:41:09,467 So the first night, women are really getting to know 785 00:41:09,510 --> 00:41:11,817 each other through this party. 786 00:41:11,860 --> 00:41:14,341 Most women will, at some point, 787 00:41:14,384 --> 00:41:16,082 get up and dance. 788 00:41:16,125 --> 00:41:21,566 Most women will end up in some level of undress, 789 00:41:21,609 --> 00:41:24,090 even the ones who say they never would. 790 00:41:24,133 --> 00:41:26,353 So, my friends, I'm so happy that you're here. 791 00:41:26,396 --> 00:41:31,532 This is the Amy show, my sweet little homie from Nola. 792 00:41:31,576 --> 00:41:34,622 This is the Lexie show which is a goddamned good one! 793 00:41:34,666 --> 00:41:36,537 [ laughter ] 794 00:41:36,581 --> 00:41:39,932 - A woman like me, you see, we are just the same. 795 00:41:39,975 --> 00:41:45,415 This world cannot stop us. Going hard with no shame! 796 00:41:45,459 --> 00:41:50,420 So when you look at me and you see something great, 797 00:41:50,464 --> 00:41:54,555 know that I am looking back and I'm thinking the same thing. 798 00:41:54,599 --> 00:41:59,212 So when you look at me, baby girl, see you. 799 00:41:59,255 --> 00:42:01,388 Here's to you! Strip Cabin! 800 00:42:01,431 --> 00:42:04,478 - Woo! 801 00:42:04,522 --> 00:42:09,004 [ music ] 802 00:42:09,048 --> 00:42:11,224 - Live! 803 00:42:11,267 --> 00:42:15,620 Live, Jessica Rabbit, live your life! 804 00:42:31,505 --> 00:42:33,463 - Regina's a good one. - I saw her. 805 00:42:33,507 --> 00:42:36,162 - Can you show her how you man handle the pole? 806 00:42:52,874 --> 00:42:56,008 - I don't know how to do anything. 807 00:42:56,661 --> 00:43:00,186 - Stripping at Strip Cabin can be exhilarating for women 808 00:43:00,229 --> 00:43:02,754 who have never done anything like that before. 809 00:43:02,797 --> 00:43:08,194 It is very liberating and it's almost like you're 810 00:43:08,237 --> 00:43:11,197 shedding fear. 811 00:43:11,937 --> 00:43:14,069 - The first time I got on the pole, 812 00:43:14,113 --> 00:43:18,421 I was thinking I might fall on my face. 813 00:43:18,465 --> 00:43:20,554 - And slide your hands down at your hips. 814 00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:23,818 Go side to side. Yeah! 815 00:43:25,167 --> 00:43:28,562 - I decided I would give it my all. 816 00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:31,043 - And a gentle little pivot-- - Then go pivot. 817 00:43:31,086 --> 00:43:33,785 - See what happens? - Then pull up. Okay. 818 00:43:33,828 --> 00:43:35,700 - If you can hold yourself like that, you're good. 819 00:43:35,743 --> 00:43:38,224 - Yes! Yes! 820 00:43:38,267 --> 00:43:41,096 - Woo! - Yes. 821 00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:44,273 [ cheers ] 822 00:43:48,190 --> 00:43:52,412 [ overlapping chatter ] 823 00:43:53,282 --> 00:43:56,024 - Yes! Yes, bitch! 824 00:43:56,068 --> 00:43:59,071 [ cheering ] 825 00:43:59,114 --> 00:44:01,508 I think this one's got explaining to do! 826 00:44:01,551 --> 00:44:04,163 [ laughter ] 827 00:44:05,599 --> 00:44:14,477 [ music ] 828 00:44:25,227 --> 00:44:27,273 - Oh, my gosh, really? 829 00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:32,060 - Boobs on boobs. - Woo! 830 00:44:33,409 --> 00:44:36,369 - This is blowing my mind. 831 00:44:37,283 --> 00:44:39,981 - Boobs on boobs. Boobs on boobs. 832 00:44:40,025 --> 00:44:41,417 - I like that. 833 00:44:41,461 --> 00:44:46,596 It's been an amazing experience of being around some 834 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:48,642 incredibly beautiful beings 835 00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:52,472 that are very comfortable in their body. 836 00:44:53,125 --> 00:44:57,520 - Baby's gonna go down on you! 837 00:44:57,564 --> 00:45:00,436 - I'll usually kick off this party just like in 838 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,177 the olden days. 839 00:45:02,221 --> 00:45:07,008 This is not cutesy, performative, no. 840 00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:11,883 Like I'm me as a stripper, the real deal. 841 00:45:13,362 --> 00:45:19,325 [ music ] 842 00:45:22,807 --> 00:45:25,723 I'm putting boobs in peoples' faces, okay? 843 00:45:27,289 --> 00:45:29,901 I'm rolling around the floor. 844 00:45:35,907 --> 00:45:38,431 - I'm still speechless. 845 00:45:44,306 --> 00:45:46,308 I don't know where to put my hands. 846 00:45:46,352 --> 00:45:47,832 What do I do with my hands? 847 00:45:47,875 --> 00:45:49,572 I kind of wanna touch her, but maybe I'm not supposed to. 848 00:45:49,616 --> 00:45:52,227 And she just kind of took over. 849 00:46:02,498 --> 00:46:05,240 She's incredible. 850 00:46:21,039 --> 00:46:22,257 - Thank you. 851 00:46:22,301 --> 00:46:25,565 [ cheers ] 852 00:46:34,574 --> 00:46:36,532 - I'm gonna shuffle the cards three times. 853 00:46:36,576 --> 00:46:38,099 - Three times. Okay. 854 00:46:38,143 --> 00:46:41,799 - And then I'm gonna lay them out for you in three stacks. 855 00:46:41,842 --> 00:46:46,804 - A lot of these women, they ain't be heard in 17 years. 856 00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:49,197 They ain't looked at themselves in the mirror and 857 00:46:49,241 --> 00:46:53,854 thought anything good about themselves in a real long time. 858 00:46:54,333 --> 00:46:56,422 - You just put them back into one big stack 859 00:46:56,465 --> 00:46:58,032 however you want. 860 00:46:58,076 --> 00:47:01,601 - And this isn't the minority. This is the majority. 861 00:47:01,644 --> 00:47:03,908 - The energy is a little scattered right now. 862 00:47:03,951 --> 00:47:06,867 It's because you're refusing to compromise. 863 00:47:06,911 --> 00:47:09,087 - I like to come to these retreats because it's 864 00:47:09,130 --> 00:47:15,528 an outlet for me to kind of regain and center myself. 865 00:47:15,571 --> 00:47:18,618 - As much as you are inherently have a fierceness, 866 00:47:18,661 --> 00:47:21,490 you don't have to show up armored. 867 00:47:21,534 --> 00:47:25,930 - In 2017, I went through cancer and didn't tell 868 00:47:25,973 --> 00:47:28,280 hardly anyone that I was sick. 869 00:47:28,323 --> 00:47:30,456 I wore a wig so no one knew that I was bald. 870 00:47:30,499 --> 00:47:33,285 - However you are that day, fuckin' own it! 871 00:47:33,328 --> 00:47:35,287 Show up like that's you! 872 00:47:35,330 --> 00:47:37,767 - Like I put a wig on, but it wasn't the same. 873 00:47:37,811 --> 00:47:40,074 When I took the wig off, I was still bald. 874 00:47:40,118 --> 00:47:45,819 But I viewed myself sort of the way I was before, 875 00:47:45,863 --> 00:47:48,300 but you walk by a mirror and you glance. 876 00:47:48,343 --> 00:47:50,345 You see a stranger looking back at you. 877 00:47:50,389 --> 00:47:53,131 I lost who I was. 878 00:47:53,174 --> 00:47:56,917 - And it's sort of like I have to defend my home. 879 00:47:56,961 --> 00:47:59,441 I have to protect what is mine. 880 00:47:59,485 --> 00:48:03,271 - Lux actually extended the offer to me following 881 00:48:03,315 --> 00:48:07,536 a tragic event with losing my youngest daughter. 882 00:48:07,580 --> 00:48:09,495 - You're rising up out of the depths. 883 00:48:09,538 --> 00:48:11,540 You know, she's coming out of the water. 884 00:48:11,584 --> 00:48:13,499 They're both coming out of the water. 885 00:48:13,542 --> 00:48:15,109 You have been in it. 886 00:48:15,153 --> 00:48:18,939 You've been deep in emotion and you're rising. 887 00:48:18,983 --> 00:48:21,986 - She just wanted to give me something that would be 888 00:48:22,029 --> 00:48:26,686 comforting to me and just come into a community where 889 00:48:26,729 --> 00:48:28,557 people can put their arms around me. 890 00:48:28,601 --> 00:48:31,778 And I can just talk about things that were affecting me. 891 00:48:33,606 --> 00:48:36,522 - We have our bodies policed a lot. 892 00:48:36,565 --> 00:48:40,047 Being a plus-size person, my body is policed pretty heavily. 893 00:48:40,091 --> 00:48:41,135 - It definitely changed my life. 894 00:48:41,179 --> 00:48:42,571 I've gone through a lot of trauma. 895 00:48:42,615 --> 00:48:44,051 - These few months of my life, 896 00:48:44,095 --> 00:48:46,358 I've been really stressful and very like depressing. 897 00:48:46,401 --> 00:48:49,274 - We all want to say, "Oh, I love myself and I feel great", 898 00:48:49,317 --> 00:48:51,102 but we're all here because there's some things 899 00:48:51,145 --> 00:48:53,669 we don't 100% love. 900 00:48:53,713 --> 00:48:55,497 - Okay, there have been times it didn't show up. 901 00:48:55,541 --> 00:48:56,759 I did try to trust. 902 00:48:56,803 --> 00:48:59,545 I wanted to believe, and it didn't happen. 903 00:48:59,588 --> 00:49:01,982 But you're in a new place now. 904 00:49:02,026 --> 00:49:05,638 - I've forgotten that I don't need to feel so 905 00:49:05,681 --> 00:49:06,987 gross all the time. 906 00:49:07,031 --> 00:49:08,597 I need to remind myself that I'm a strong person 907 00:49:08,641 --> 00:49:11,687 and that I am worth being here. 908 00:49:11,731 --> 00:49:13,298 - So I kind of know all these people, 909 00:49:13,341 --> 00:49:14,299 so I'm just like, 910 00:49:14,342 --> 00:49:17,998 "It is true about her, isn't it? 911 00:49:18,042 --> 00:49:19,913 She does take the weight of the world on her 912 00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:21,001 shoulders after all." 913 00:49:21,045 --> 00:49:23,961 - Yeah. [ laugh ] 914 00:49:24,004 --> 00:49:27,573 - Damn, man, I didn't expect to feel that way, 915 00:49:27,616 --> 00:49:29,401 but yet here we are. 916 00:49:29,444 --> 00:49:31,490 - Strip Cabin! - Strip Cabin! 917 00:49:31,533 --> 00:49:33,492 - Tits and tears! 918 00:49:33,535 --> 00:49:36,538 Tits and tears at the Strip Cabin, everybody! 919 00:49:49,682 --> 00:49:54,600 - This workshop, Strip Craft, is foundational to my career. 920 00:49:54,643 --> 00:49:56,732 I am a former university instructor, 921 00:49:56,776 --> 00:50:02,216 a lifelong stripper turned itinerate preacher for 922 00:50:02,260 --> 00:50:05,480 women's empowerment through sensual awakening. 923 00:50:05,524 --> 00:50:08,788 The first half is what I call a feminist sermon. 924 00:50:08,831 --> 00:50:10,746 It's like the female empowerment motivational 925 00:50:10,790 --> 00:50:12,357 speech of your lifetime. 926 00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:15,751 We are taught that it is ugly to do this sort of 927 00:50:15,795 --> 00:50:18,580 self-reflection on the ways in which we are great. 928 00:50:18,624 --> 00:50:21,322 We are taught instead that it is noble and honorable 929 00:50:21,366 --> 00:50:23,977 to think about all the fuckin' ways you suck. 930 00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:28,068 Now that we can respect. They love it. 931 00:50:28,112 --> 00:50:30,723 They love it when you list your flaws. 932 00:50:30,766 --> 00:50:32,246 Here's what I wanna tell you. 933 00:50:32,290 --> 00:50:39,688 Don't let all of your beauty pass you by with everybody 934 00:50:39,732 --> 00:50:42,082 in the world seeing it but you. 935 00:50:42,126 --> 00:50:45,042 It's already in you. 936 00:50:45,085 --> 00:50:48,306 There is nothing that needs to be invented! 937 00:50:48,349 --> 00:50:52,005 There is nothing more that you need to be! 938 00:50:52,049 --> 00:50:57,402 It is already there! Just find it! 939 00:50:57,445 --> 00:51:00,405 I won't tell you it will be easy and I won't tell you 940 00:51:00,448 --> 00:51:01,928 that it will always be fun. 941 00:51:01,971 --> 00:51:05,627 But sometimes it will be. 942 00:51:08,804 --> 00:51:12,243 And then the second part is movement, sexy movement. 943 00:51:12,286 --> 00:51:14,114 We're rolling around the floor, we're rolling 944 00:51:14,158 --> 00:51:15,376 around with each other. 945 00:51:15,420 --> 00:51:16,856 Are you nervous? 946 00:51:16,899 --> 00:51:19,206 Take that shit out of your head! 947 00:51:19,250 --> 00:51:24,124 Put it on the shelf and be that woman that you actually 948 00:51:24,168 --> 00:51:26,735 know is inside. 949 00:51:30,174 --> 00:51:32,306 - Day one, everyone is coming with like, 950 00:51:32,350 --> 00:51:35,788 as you would meet any stranger, like a sense of anticipation. 951 00:51:35,831 --> 00:51:41,185 And day two, every woman unfurls her layers a little bit. 952 00:51:41,228 --> 00:51:43,883 It's beautiful. 953 00:51:54,198 --> 00:52:01,118 - There was that sense of I'm covered up and I'm ready 954 00:52:01,161 --> 00:52:03,772 to not be. 955 00:52:12,129 --> 00:52:15,132 I feel at home. 956 00:52:15,610 --> 00:52:17,134 I feel at home with these women. 957 00:52:17,177 --> 00:52:19,701 I feel at home myself and I just want to like invite 958 00:52:19,745 --> 00:52:22,356 more of that out. 959 00:52:25,098 --> 00:52:28,406 I still have those voices in my head that are 960 00:52:28,449 --> 00:52:31,626 judging me and are self-conscious and are 961 00:52:31,670 --> 00:52:36,588 questioning the freedom I allowed myself today. 962 00:52:37,458 --> 00:52:39,678 If those voices went away, I would walk through the world 963 00:52:39,721 --> 00:52:43,725 completely in myself, aligned with my truth and 964 00:52:43,769 --> 00:52:47,120 feeling pretty fucking amazing. 965 00:52:54,649 --> 00:52:57,739 - Woo! 966 00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:03,005 - And this is Strip Craft. 967 00:53:03,049 --> 00:53:06,052 Thank you so much. - Woo! 968 00:53:08,097 --> 00:53:11,057 - I feel a part of me did get awakened and opened 969 00:53:11,100 --> 00:53:13,886 and allowed to express itself. 970 00:53:13,929 --> 00:53:16,062 And now that I've had that experience, 971 00:53:16,105 --> 00:53:19,805 I can re-access that space of true freedom and 972 00:53:19,848 --> 00:53:22,721 liberation and self-expression. 973 00:53:22,764 --> 00:53:26,464 - Like something broke open in me and it's there now. 974 00:53:26,507 --> 00:53:30,468 And I'm not gonna lose it. Thank you so much. 975 00:53:33,122 --> 00:53:34,472 - It doesn't matter. 976 00:53:34,515 --> 00:53:37,039 It doesn't matter how I choose to identify. 977 00:53:37,083 --> 00:53:39,041 It doesn't matter how anyone else sees me. 978 00:53:39,085 --> 00:53:41,696 Because there's a space in me that it just 979 00:53:41,740 --> 00:53:44,046 is and I can access that. 980 00:53:44,090 --> 00:53:49,269 So all of the definitions and labels and boxes cease 981 00:53:49,313 --> 00:53:53,230 to exist when I am in that space. 982 00:53:57,973 --> 00:53:59,540 - Let's start over by that window. 983 00:53:59,584 --> 00:54:00,889 - Okay. 984 00:54:00,933 --> 00:54:02,848 - I always tell people I'm an okay photographer. 985 00:54:02,891 --> 00:54:04,806 I'm an expert at getting people comfortable in 986 00:54:04,850 --> 00:54:05,851 the front of the camera. 987 00:54:05,894 --> 00:54:08,636 So it's my job. It's what I do. 988 00:54:09,115 --> 00:54:10,334 - Peel! I love just like that. 989 00:54:10,377 --> 00:54:13,337 That's perfect! Yes. 990 00:54:14,381 --> 00:54:16,165 Close your eyes again. 991 00:54:16,209 --> 00:54:17,732 When we go back to the real world, 992 00:54:17,776 --> 00:54:20,300 it's really hard and it's really jarring. 993 00:54:20,344 --> 00:54:23,260 Because we're in this nurturing little happy 994 00:54:23,303 --> 00:54:25,740 bubble where everyone is telling us we're beautiful 995 00:54:25,784 --> 00:54:28,743 and everyone is helping us. 996 00:54:28,787 --> 00:54:32,094 And then we go to the real world where lots of things suck. 997 00:54:32,138 --> 00:54:34,793 And I think the photography is the important part of it 998 00:54:34,836 --> 00:54:38,623 'cause seeing it again can help you bring back those 999 00:54:38,666 --> 00:54:42,148 emotions and feel that sense of comfort. 1000 00:54:42,191 --> 00:54:46,021 - I can't wait to see the pictures! 1001 00:54:46,065 --> 00:54:50,852 It's always so exciting for me. Thank you. 1002 00:54:53,202 --> 00:54:56,684 - So we had this killer dance party. 1003 00:54:56,728 --> 00:55:02,211 And I think, after being here all weekend with 1004 00:55:02,255 --> 00:55:05,606 these amazing people, I was just really ready to 1005 00:55:05,650 --> 00:55:08,000 dance my ass off. 1006 00:55:08,043 --> 00:55:12,439 So we did and it was so fun. It was amazing. 1007 00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:16,530 If you just look at a few images of this event, 1008 00:55:16,574 --> 00:55:19,446 it might look like girls gone wild. 1009 00:55:19,490 --> 00:55:23,581 It's not like that to actually be here at all. 1010 00:55:23,624 --> 00:55:26,801 It's more about stripping away the layers that keep 1011 00:55:26,845 --> 00:55:29,717 you from being who you are. 1012 00:55:29,761 --> 00:55:33,373 And the clothes are just an afterthought. 1013 00:55:33,417 --> 00:55:35,680 - First things first, I'm gonna start loving myself again. 1014 00:55:35,723 --> 00:55:38,509 I lost that for a minute for the last few months. 1015 00:55:38,552 --> 00:55:43,035 And this awakens for me, refreshed, that feeling of 1016 00:55:43,078 --> 00:55:46,691 being confident and supporting myself. 1017 00:55:46,734 --> 00:55:51,609 I matter, I am important, and I don't have to be 1018 00:55:51,652 --> 00:55:55,439 afraid of what people think of me, period. 1019 00:55:57,441 --> 00:55:58,529 - I'm happy you had a good time. 1020 00:55:58,572 --> 00:56:00,574 I told you it was gonna be easy. 1021 00:56:00,618 --> 00:56:02,228 - It was. You were right. 1022 00:56:02,271 --> 00:56:04,752 Actually, you were right about pretty much everything 1023 00:56:04,796 --> 00:56:08,582 you told me to expect about the weekend. 1024 00:56:08,626 --> 00:56:10,541 You were spot on. 1025 00:56:10,584 --> 00:56:14,153 It has been even more amazing than I thought it 1026 00:56:14,196 --> 00:56:16,329 was gonna be. - Yeah. 1027 00:56:17,286 --> 00:56:18,984 I'm so happy to see you doing so well, 1028 00:56:19,027 --> 00:56:20,551 and I'm really proud of you. 1029 00:56:20,594 --> 00:56:24,250 - It was your fuckin' fire under my ass, so thank you. 1030 00:56:24,293 --> 00:56:25,947 - Yeah. My pleasure, man. 1031 00:56:25,991 --> 00:56:27,862 I love you with all my heart. 1032 00:56:27,906 --> 00:56:32,040 - I love you too. Thank you. 1033 00:56:35,435 --> 00:56:39,047 - I appreciate you. - I appreciate you. 1034 00:56:39,570 --> 00:56:41,006 - Thank you. 1035 00:56:41,049 --> 00:56:43,487 - So people often wonder why we take our clothes off 1036 00:56:43,530 --> 00:56:45,402 and why there's nudity involved. 1037 00:56:45,445 --> 00:56:50,015 And the answer, I think, for a lot of us and 1038 00:56:50,058 --> 00:56:54,454 a lot of women is we have a lot of trauma involved 1039 00:56:54,498 --> 00:57:00,242 with our bodies, self-hatred, self-loathing. 1040 00:57:00,286 --> 00:57:07,293 We've been victimized physically and it makes you 1041 00:57:07,336 --> 00:57:09,556 lose this connection with your body. 1042 00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:11,993 It makes you view your body as this enemy. 1043 00:57:12,037 --> 00:57:14,909 We are so indoctrinated into thinking our bodies 1044 00:57:14,953 --> 00:57:16,911 are a problem. 1045 00:57:16,955 --> 00:57:19,566 And that's why the nudity matters here. 1046 00:57:19,610 --> 00:57:23,788 Because this is the place where you see, 1047 00:57:23,831 --> 00:57:30,621 if only for this brief weekend, where you can see this body 1048 00:57:30,664 --> 00:57:34,407 is not actually a problem. 1049 00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:37,497 And it's the only one I have and, goddamn it, 1050 00:57:37,541 --> 00:57:40,326 I'm gonna fuckin' love it!